Thrilled to share this lively moment captured by my dear friend Laurent during my performance at the enchanting Le Petite Left Bank. Dive into the playful clip and let the magic unfold!
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Category Archives: life
10 Tips for quickly relieving stress
This article includes some musical ideas!
By Sonia Choquette
Let’s face it. Life is stressful. And when we are under stress we suffer. It’s bad for our health. It leaves us feeling drained and tired. It fogs our brains. It causes us to disconnect from others. It makes it difficult to concentrate and robs us of the ability to respond creatively in life. It’s not good for us, and when under stress, let’s face it, it’s not good for those around us either. So it’s helpful to have a few stress-busting techniques to reach for when it starts to creep up on you and take you hostage. Here are a few of my favorite busters. They are easy to do and work wonders when I need them most, like right before I give a public presentation, or when running late to catch a plane, or find myself stuck in traffic, or when talking to someone who is being very difficult, or when I find myself running behind schedule and am afraid I am going to get in big trouble for it. In other words, at least once a day, every day. Try them yourself and see if you find them as helpful for relieving stress as I do.
- Open your mouth wide enough to hear a click in your ears and inhale deeply, followed by an audible exhale releasing the sound “AHHH!” Repeat until relaxed. Three times should do it.
- Sing the song Do-Re-Mi from The Sound of Music. Each note corresponds with one of the seven chakras and calms the entire nervous system and lifts your mood.
- Breathe in deeply and slowly, and as you exhale, notice something you’ve not noticed before in your immediate environment and name it out loud. Such as “pattern in the rug.” Then breathe. “The scratch on the desk.” Breathe. “The different colors on the coffee cup.” Breathe. “The design on the base of the lamp.” Breathe. Keep noticing and saying out loud things in full view that you have never noticed before. Do this for at least 30 seconds to one minute. This stops your brain from racing forward and back in time and centers you in the present moment, thus relaxing you.
- Place your tongue on the roof of your mouth and right behind your front teeth. Next, purse your lips and exhale to the count of eight as though blowing out a birthday candle. Next, inhale to the count of seven, followed by holding your breath to the count of four. Then repeat. This easy breathing technique can calm your thoughts and refresh your body, inviting stress to flow out and relaxation to flow in.
- Anytime you feel overwhelmed by stress, bend your knees and wiggle them back and forth as fast as possible for 10 seconds, and then squeeze your buttocks cheeks together while letting out a very loud and resounding “AAAAHHHHHHH!” as though screaming all the stress right out of your body. Then relax. It not only relieves you of the stress consuming your every cell but also makes you and anyone around you laugh out loud.
- Start naming, out loud, one thing at a time, every single thing that you are or feel afraid of right now. Start by naming the thing you fear most in the moment, and then take in a deep breath. Next, name something you notice right in front of you. Then repeat. Again, name something you fear most right now. Breathe, and then again name something you see right in front of you. Do this until you can’t name any more fears.
- Do my favorite yoga pose. Pull the corners of your mouth to the ears, and hold it. Maintain this pose for at least 30 seconds. Then release.
- Thump your chest with your fist and let out the sound “HA! as loud as possible. Repeat. HA! HA! HA! Then laugh.
- Sing your favorite Broadway show tune at the top of your lungs.
- Put your thumb and forefinger together and close your eyes. Breathe in, while saying the words “I am,” and then exhale saying, “calm.” Feel the calm flowing from your heart, through your body, and out of your fingertips. Do this as many times as needed.
These are all simple, easy, silly, effective, and fun. Try them all and see which one works best for you. Most of all, just remember: this too shall pass, and with breath it will pass faster and leave you less stressed along the way.
Chopping wood and carrying water
I’m sipping a cup of candy-cane green tea and listening to Pandora’s holiday channel–a few moments of quiet time, which is quite a rare treat these days. Twinkling petals of early afternoon light dance around my room to the beat of the music. I’m feeling a delicious combination of sentimentality and gratitude. I think I must be having a holiday moment!
Why this overall positive outlook? I believe it’s the effect of two filters I’ve chosen to wear over my lenses this year; the “Stay Neutral” and the “Chop Wood Carry Water.” In other phases of my life, some of the events of this year would have had me spinning in panic and caused me immense anxiety.
Both of my parents took falls this year, Mom breaking a hip and Dad, a shoulder. I consistently reminded myself to continue to chop wood and carry water and not focus too strongly on either wanting positive outcomes or worrying too much about negative outcomes. In retrospect, although my parents’ injuries were extremely painful and caused them immense inconvenience, the gift of their having had them was that they created opportunities to look at how we children and grandchildren could better support them. I can see now that my parents are both stronger and healthier from the experience.
Singing has always been a wonderful refuge for me. Performing is also becoming one. Even though I often feel nervous the day of the performance, I’m always buoyed by the experience of being with all the other performers, interacting with our wonderful audience members and singing from my heart. Performing truly is good medicine!
Keeping the renewal alive all year long
Has your summer brought you a sense of renewal? I was recently pondering ways to maintain the wonderful sense of renewal that I feel after a long weekend or vacation once I’m back home. First of all we need to figure out what actually renews us. Each of us is unique and our needs change all the time. It isn’t always the things we read about doing or think we should do that offer the best renewal choice. For example, sometimes when I finally sit down to read a good book with a cup of tea, I realize that what my body and spirit really needs is to get outdoors and move. Other times, reading is just the ticket to the relaxation I needed.
I take a daily afternoon break and get out for some fresh air. I may not always be able to leave my desk at a scheduled lunch hour, but I don’t let that stop me from taking a refreshing break at some point in the afternoon even if it’s not until 3:30 or 4 p.m! Whether it’s a walk along the Embarcadero or Crissy Field, a visit to one of the many nearby farmers’ markets, or sitting quietly for a while in a nearby garden, I find I’m refreshed when I return.
I’ve also noticed that although some things are pretty tried and true, like taking a soothing hot bath after a particularly stressful day, its also very renewing to try something new. Recently, I caught on to the Chia seed craze and started adding the seeds to my morning juice and oddly have felt renewed by having found a new, healthy practice. Sometimes especially toward the end of a busy week, it’s tempting in the evening to just be a TV- watching couch potato but I’ve found that if I choose instead to spend a few minutes gardening, going for a walk in the neighborhood, practicing my songs or listening to some beautiful music, I feel more relaxed and also get a better night’s rest.
“So as long as a person is capable of self-renewal, they are a living being.” Swiss writer, Henri Frederique Amiel
Three coins in a fountain
April and May in Italy and France was a painful experience because I just kept having to pinch myself to see if I was really there or if I was in a wonderful dream! I planned the trip back in October and was initially going to be going alone. In January, a friend I’ve known since college decided to join me for the first two weeks in Italy and in February a mutual friend of our’s whom I’ve since middle school decided to join us too. We had such a fun time everywhere we went. We celebrated a birthday in Rome and threw our three coins in Trevi fountain too. I can’t say what I wished for of course but I just know it will come true! We had some beautiful weather some days and rain and hail that looked like snow on other days. We visited Saturnia, Sienna, Monterregione, San Gemingnano, Volterra, Solvano, Soldano, Pittignano, Lucca, Pietra Santo, Bologna and Milano. We ate dinner in the house my grandmother was raised in and lunch in the house my grandfather was raised in too.
In Paris, I spent two weeks with my friend Sandrine. I met Sandrine while vacationing here on the West Coast two years ago. She is a Parisian native and much like me here in San Francisco, lives a very full and rich life in the City of Lights. I took in almost every walking tour offerred in Paris and visited museums I’d never been to before like the Cluny Medeival Museum and The Montmartre Museum which had a very interesting exhibit about the Black Cat cabaret theater. One of the highlights of my time in Paris was being invited to perform on May 2nd at the Swan Bar in Montparnasse. It was very exciting to prepare for the event and the show itself was lots of fun! I spent a few days visiting old friends in Montpellier, in the South of France. One day we saw pink flamingos and had a delicious lunch by the Maguelone Cathedral on the Cote D’Azur. Another day we had a lovely time hiking around a medieval village called Sauve where R. Crumb lives.
The night before I left Paris, I attended a concert of jazz icon, Jon Hendricks with his talented daughters, Michelle and Aria Hendricks and scat improvisor virtuoso, Kevin Fitzgerald Burke, who just happens to be the son of Kat Fitzgerald, my dear friend and fellow Supper Club Six member.
I’m back in San Francisco now and looking forward to a June “busting out all over” with music, flowers and love!
Latest blog post –Not! Yes!
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| Dear friends, I don’t know how your month has gone but I know for me it’s been a mixture of moments of feeling super overwhelmed with not having enough time to do all that I’d like to do for the holidays and also many moments of happiness and joyful connection. When I practice the lyrics to the song, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”, I sometimes jokingly exclaim to myself, “Not!” and at other times say, “Yes! It certainly is! What are the true gifts of the season? For me they are spending time with some of the sweet people I have in my life, they are spending time with friends and loved ones and enjoying the sights, tastes and sounds of a magical time of year in a myriad of ways:
(marshmallows roasting on an open fire…) 
What, to you, are the true gifts of this season? As I consider this question, I realize that for me, the season’s gifts are not about the striving for perfection in baking or decorations, it is mostly about time connecting with new or old friends and family. So as I go into the final stretch of 2012, I think I’m going to just lighten up on my unrealistic expectations for what I think I need to do, or would like to do and focus on enjoying the times I have with the people I care about and the rest will fall into place on its own, it always does. |
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Traveling song
San Francisco, September 28, 2012
I’ve just returned from a marvelous trip to Europe. I brought back many souvenirs, including a chest cold and a spirit ready for change. I’ve been resting up as much as possible since my return and as I do so the memories of what I visited have been ever present: cobblestoned streets, ripe tomatoes, delicious bread with olive oil, the Eiffel tower popping up everywhere in Paris, the swoosh of the Metro, the calm in Italian cities when everyone is at lunch, the effervescent Mediterranean sea sparkling off the Cinqueterre shores, the sounds of French women speaking to each other like a song, the sounds of Italians laughing and playing with each other in lifelong patterns of communication. Bakeries, butcher shops and the oh-so-delicious deli’s. Food plays such a big part in Mediterranean life.
I feel lucky to have maintained contact with cousins in Lucca, Italy and when we visited there I made sure to offer them a song or two which they appreciated mightily and one of my cousins, a trained tenor, returned the favor with a lovely, Italian accented rendition of “I Did it My Way.”
When in Paris I visited the Swan Bar’s open mike and sang three songs, including Autumn leaves half in French and half in English, The Nearness of You and Honeysuckle Rose. There was a fellow there who was able to make saxaphone sounds with his lips so I asked him to sit in on my performance. It was a lovely evening. I’m looking forward to a return trip to Paris and Italy within the year. I do not want to let another twenty years keep me from the places my spirit has always felt a deep kinship with. I’m looking forward to the unfolding of my art as I assimilate the experiences I had in these magnificent places this summer.
If you’d like to see some of my photographs from the trip, visit these hashtags on instagram: #silk_italy and #silk_paris.
What’s the scoop on Instagram?
As my good friends will tell you, I have become obsessed with a creative little application on my iphone that just happened to have been recently sold to Facebook for one billion dollars. Yowsa! I was already a fan of Instagram when the news broke and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the sale doesn’t ruin a good thing. I have several feeds on the application, (Temptime, sfgenerations, MonroePersonnel) but my main one is @silkshots. I have recently created a new @silk_moments feed for contests and shoutouts too. People post their photos to this feed by using the hashtag #silk_moments. When there is a photo that strikes me as particularly “silky” I post that photo to the whole list with my kudos. Silky is a subjective term and I’ve used it to describe everything from a smile, to a sunset to a delicious looking piece of pie. You get the idea. The current contest is a match your caption to your photo contest. The best matched caption to photo will be announced this weekend.
Instagram is simple to use and very rewarding. It allows one to express one’s creativity through photography and instead of just filing away the photograph in a folder somewhere on your hard drive it is shared with people all around the world. I really enjoy following other people’s feeds and seeing life from their vantage point while learning about places around the globe. It also feels great when people comment favorably on a photo or click the like button.
Not so surprisingly, since I’ve been creating on Instagram, I’ve noticed I’ve found new ideas coming to me when I’m singing too. Inspiration begets inspiration begets inspiration… The circle of creativity is such a mysterious and wonderful adventure!
I have added an Instragram photo stream on the right of this article out a few of the current photos in my #silkshots stream.
A lovely little poem I came across whose author is unknown. Could be my personal credo.
If any little word of mine
may make a life the brighter,
if any little song of mine
may make a heart the lighter,
God help me speak the little word
and take my bit of singing
and drop it in some lonely vale
to set the echoes ringing.
If any little love of mine
may make a life the sweeter,
if any little care of mine
may make a friend’s the fleeter
if any little lift may ease
the burden of another,
God give me love, and care, and strength
to help my toiling brother and sister.
Simple pleasures
We’ve just passed the Summer Solstice and summer is in full swing. The longest days of the year are great for relaxing and listening to great music both out and about and on your own musical devices at home. I’m really loving Pandora. All I have to do is search for a song I’ve always loved and it creates a station of music with similar traits. The past week I’ve been toggling between a James Brown and a Ladysmith Black Mombasa station.
I vacationed in Paducah, Kentucky last week visiting family in the country. It was great to be so close to nature. I encountered cardinals, bluebirds, cottontail rabbits, a woodchuck, and best of all lightening bugs. I got a kick out of taking an excellent vinyassa yoga class in a heated room with country music playing, too. I also felt really lucky to catch a local Community theater’s final performance of “Annie.” The Marketplace Theater group did a fine job with the show with an amazing 13 year old dancer/singer in the starring role that made Sarah Jessica Parker so famous years ago. The musical’s theme still resonates today, it was written about the depression era and the thought of “The sun will come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there’ll be sun” is one that is also most welcomed to hear during our sluggish economic climate.
The pace of life is slower in Kentucky. In conversations, people are actually comfortable with silence between thoughts. It felt good to slow down but also suprisingly a little stressful. My usually fast paced lifestyle was challenged by the more relaxed environment. After a few days, I adjusted and enjoyed some of life’s simple pleasures like sitting on the porch, sipping a tall glass of cool lemonade, listening to the birds and finally reading Tuesdays with Morrie, a great little book that is all about savoring the simple pleasures of life.
On my return flight I overheard a conversation between some fellow passengers. A Tennessee gentleman who had exemplified Southern hospitality a few minutes earlier by graciously offering us his change when we had none for the airport vending machine, was speaking with a family on their way to San Francisco for vacation. He’d visited here before and offered them suggestions on what they might do here. I smiled at his excitement over a sunset dinner cruise he’d taken on the San Francisco Bay. He said, “We found this cruise right near a restaurant called Scoma’s, S-C-O-M-A-S, a great Italian place on what they call, Fisherman’s Wharf. They took us right there under the Golden Gate Bridge and we got some beautiful photographs at sunset! Man, those are memories we will always treasure!” He is just one of thousands of tourists who visit San Francisco each year and bring home treasured memories.
So when it’s all said and done, it’s all good. It’s all good: photographs at sunset on a bay cruise, spotting fireflies at dusk on a warm humid evening in Kentucky or sipping icy lemonade while listening to the sounds of the cicadas under the stars, they are all simple pleasures we can enjoy during the long days of summer. It’s raining in San Francisco today but all we have to do is remember that the sun will come out come what may or take pleasure in knowing that the reservoirs are filling up and it feels more cozy inside when it’s wet weather outside.
- Summer porch time
